I Recommend It:

The air is real sweet tonight. Notes of unidentifiable flora and fauna. That sweet scent that you wish you could capture and wear 'round your neck or adorn your pillowcase with to put you to rest. It's kind of what love smells like... to me. I got back onto the island late after my healing appointment with Ashera so I took Guinness out for a nice walk under Grey skies fading into pink and lilac puddles. We walked by Michael and I's first house, the cottage, and cruised by my favorite field. We were greeted by a sweet, white owl hovering for supper. I can't remember the last time I saw an owl. Tonight was one of those nights where you find yourself smiling inexplicably from ear-to-ear, goosebumps covering you even if the air has hardly enough of a chill and stupefied with the sheer brilliance of your own life and everything surrounding you. Where you can't tell if you may start laughing hysterically, crying hysterically or standing, staring, jaw-dropped in awe with it all. Meeting with Ashera is helping me let out emotions I haven't tapped into for some years. Getting comfortable with the darker corners of my soul (what I like to refer to as the dark goddess). My angry, wounded, resentful, wild, animal, 'hag' side (according to the new, perfectly fitting book I've purchased and will share later), and seeing them as light and not something to shun or disregard because of where my gender has placed me in this society and the expectations we face as wimmin. After all, acknowledgment is the first step to genuine, deep, graceful change.


With my eyes welling from an overwhelming feeling of wanting to burst with joy, anger, release, relief, I belted out at the top of my lungs a huge "THANK YOU!" I've always considered myself more on the shy, soft-spoken (unless inebriated) side. 'Cool', collected, but not really 'out-there' verbally (just in my own mind). However, that is only half of me. I know my other true, deep nature; the side of me I've been dying, clawing, scratching, pushing to release since leaving the sweetness of childhood and embarking on a confusing, suppressed journey into womanhood, is that of a wild, mud-kicking witchin' goddess! I tried it once... a small yell... it felt... ok, different, but not great. I knew I'd have to let go of my old self and all of my inhibitions if I really want to change, so... I roared... deep from my belly and lungs and hell it felt so good! I've always wanted to do that but never have... with fear of being heard... and in turn, being thought of as a crazy, improper female. But, all of that - those thoughts, are useless and untrue to myself and no longer self-serving. I no longer want to fear my wild, seductive, maiden side out of fear of what I may find... out of fear of what may seem 'proper' or fitting, whatever that's supposed to mean anymore. It felt so good to let myself g o . I felt a little silly, pretty proud and really strong. I recommend it: getting It out!


Once I find the words to describe my session today, I'd like to share, because we both agreed that what I'm working through is to benefit all womyn-kind. I'm doing this for all wimmin who have felt insecure in their bodies and their minds; in their wild, mysterious powers that men just cannot understand. I'm doing this for wimmin who feel suppressed, stuck, longing for something that feels missing from our lives. We're all doing this for each other. It's vibrational; it's contagious; it's so light-filled. It's really, really exciting for me; for Us.